


When Kisses Cure Cancer

by Clouds (iasophl)



Series: Last Time [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Major Illness, Minor Suicidal Thoughts, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Zhong Chen Le is Whipped
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:29:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iasophl/pseuds/Clouds
Summary: Times like these are when Chenle wishes that kisses cured cancer.
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: Last Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942360
Kudos: 9





	1. Waking Up

He wakes up today.

With a light blanket hugging his frame and a hum from his room's humidifier. His bedroom clock reads 6:23 am. Jisung waits until his doctor arrives again. And so he does, alerting him with a soft knock on the plain white door. He forces himself to sit up as the tall man walks into his room. He asks the same questions every week then strolled back out after he finished. These are the things that make him alive.

Jisung knows about the day he won't have to ask those questions anymore. The day his doctor will run into the room with panicked eyes and sorrow dripping from his face. His monitor will flat line while he tries his best. And it will only be a matter of time until Johnny never looks at him again.

Now he waits again. On his chair looking out the window from the third floor of this stupid hospital he's been in. It isn't even a nice view. The trees are dead, the streets are crowded, and the sky is polluted. He wonders about the time when the trees will come back to life. Or when the man on the street will get a home.

The boy wonders about the time when he won’t be lonely.

He sinks lower into his chair, while his hands fiddle with a pen. There has to be another thing to do in this damn hospital. Sure, he enjoys not going to school and not having to worry about homework or mean teachers, but being hooked up to a beeping machine isn’t ideal either.

Lucky for him, there’s a person to keep him entertained. Taeyong. His older brother who cherishes him so dearly. Maybe with enough convincing, Jisung can do something else than stay here in his room. He thinks about the different things he can do to let his protective sibling give him a tiny bit of freedom.

His thoughts are disrupted by the very person that was on his mind. He knocked before walking in with a tray of Jisung’s daily lunch, and sitting down on his empty bed. Jisung glares at the tray of bland hospital food in front of him. There must be better things to do instead of eating this shi- * _ahem_ * - crappy food.

So like any average teenager, he complains. "There's no point in keeping me in this boring room all day. I have nothing to do except look outside the window. You don't want me to die of boredom right hyung?"

The mention of death made his older brother flinch. Jisung took notice of the slight change in atmosphere and a pang of guilt hit his heart. He forgets how sensitive his brother is. The younger boy shuffles closer to Taeyong, and reaches for his thin hand to grasp. He looks him in the eye, silently apologizing like he did when they were younger; when Jisung was okay.

Taeyong let out a sigh, "Jisung, you know by now that you shouldn't go outside." He eyes the machine ticking in back, and Jisung watches his expression deepen more in concern. Everything about this must hurt for his older brother, watching his only family suffer while all he can do is care.

The thought makes tears form in Jisung’s eyes, but he blinks them away before the elder can catch him. He needs to be strong. Crying won’t make cancer go away.

“It’s not safe. You can get hurt.” Taeyong said in a soft voice, nearing the tone of breaking down.

Jisung didn’t want to cause his brother any more pain, so he sighed and listened. He wishes for a faithful day, the day that he won’t be sick anymore. Maybe he should wish for a friend. A friend that will understand his loneliness, his dreams, and a friend that will stay with him until the end.

For now, he can just watch the hazy sunset from the same old chair in his hospital room. And tomorrow Jisung will see if his wishes came true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies.


	2. Convincing Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's yesterday's tomorrow. Jisung wants his wishes to come true.

This morning, Jisung sits straight up in his bed immediately after waking up, scaring his panicked brother in the process. Once he manages to calm Taeyong down, he starts his determined plan; Jisung wants to go outside.

“Hyung.” He whines with a cute tone that makes himself cringe, “I wanna go outside today. Will you let me do that? Please?” He places his chin on the palms of his hand and leans forward.

His older brother stares at him dumbfounded, it’s obvious that Taeyong never predicted him to act cute. Jisung watches him blink a couple of times, still with his mouth gaping open. However, after the nth blink, Taeyong smiles at him.

“No. But you’re so cute. Do that again.”

Jisung’s cute expression disappears. He didn’t expect that. So he tries again, mustering up the biggest eyes and a pout on his lips. Unfortunately, Taeyong has a fond smile on his face while he lays back with his arms crossed. The younger boy notices that there’s something tucked away in his arm, Jisung peers closer and it’s a…

Phone?

“You’re not recording me! Hyung!” Jisung says with a scandalized tone.

Taeyong’s face morphs into disappointment, but he still pulls his phone from between his arms and turns off the recording camera. He looks up at his younger brother, who has resorted to his next plan, an odd staring contest.

Chuckling at the rare sight of immaturity from the 16 year old, Taeyong locks his gaze with Jisung’s and accepts the challenge. After a few minutes, Jisung sees that Taeyong’s eyes start to water, so he moves his hand closer to startle the older. Before he can do that, a knock sounds from the door and both their eyes dart away from each other.

“Hello Jisung.” The doctor, Johnny, comes walking in with his clipboard and a pair of keys jingling at his belt. He spots Taeyong sitting next to his patient and greets him with a light smile, “Hello Taeyong.”

Taeyong mumbles a shy greeting in contrast to Jisung's bright, “Hi Johnny!”. The taller man makes his way towards the two brothers, getting his pen from behind his ear in the process, and starts his weekly checkup routine with Jisung.

Throughout the interaction, Jisung watches his older brother eye his doctor, but he can’t determine the emotion behind the tired eyes of his sibling. He shuffles a tad bit as his doctor prods a needle into his skin. Jisung takes his eyes off the inflamed pale skin that clung to his frail body, and his eyes shift back to his brother who has looked away. He makes a note to question the elder once his checkup is over.

“That’s it. You’re doing better Jisung.” Johnny looks at Taeyong, “Tell me if he has any abnormalities in his weight, body temperature, or if any of these machines start beeping like we’re in a movie.”

Jisung giggles at the weird attempt at humor his doctor has, but spots Taeyong with a poorly masked expression and his mood drops. His gaze darts back to Johnny, who is now watching Taeyong with a grim demeanor, and there’s an eerie silence that clouds his hospital room.

The moment disappears once Jisung breaks into a coughing fit. The action surprises both of the adults, and they both rush over to Jisung’s bedside. Jisung blindly grasps his bed in an attempt to keep the rising bile from coming out of his mouth. The effort is unsuccessful and Jisung throws up as he notices a cold hand steadying his weakening frame. The younger boy feels his eyes get droopy and the last thing he hears is “ _Jisung_ _!_ ”

⋆⋆⋆

Taeyong paces back and forth outside the cramped hospital room. An array of negative thoughts overwhelm his brain, and he struggles to keep his composure. He stops walking and he imagines the thin boy whose life is currently being supported by the mass of tubes and machines connecting him.

His knees give out, unable to support the invisible guilt that weighs down on his shoulders. Taeyong takes a deep breath, but it deems useless once his eyes overflow with tears and sobs rip through his body.

He feels as if he failed. Like the words he uttered years ago, emerged to suffocate his whole being. Taeyong remembers that promise. The promise to protect Jisung, but now 10 feet away from him, is the dying figure of the only person he was supposed to protect.

“Jisung.” He chokes out a broken call for the weak boy into his tear soaked sleeves.

The hospital room door opens to reveal a stressed out oncology nurse. The nurse, who introduces himself as Doyoung, tells Taeyong about his brother’s current condition. Doyoung comforts the older male as he comprehends the sudden news about a possible infection in Jisung’s system.

He gets permission to go into Jisung’s room again, and enters to see the sick stricken boy sleeping soundly. He watches his chest rise up and down slowly, the younger boy giving off a peaceful manner while Taeyong feels like he’s on the verge of death himself.

His sobs wreck his figure again when he feels the steady heartbeat of his little brother.

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

“I promised, Jisung. I’ll protect you. Wake up soon.”

⋆⋆⋆

Jisung wakes up three hours later.

He ignores his growing headache when he sits up and spots his older brother slouched on the visitors seat. Mindful of the exhausted adult in his presence, Jisung reaches for the tray of food Taeyong must’ve gotten when he slept. His sluggish hand manages to grab the plastic spoon and scoop up the awful tasting hospital food he’s been stuck with for weeks.

The teenage boy attempts to scoop more of the soggy rice but his unsteady hand makes the spoon hit against his cup of water. He pauses, Jisung knows that his older brother is a light sleeper and bound to wake up anytime soon due to the noise he made. Seconds pass without a stir from the adult and Jisung stirs his food in avoidance of eating it.

“Don’t play with your food.”

So Taeyong did wake up.

Jisung huffs, “I’m not. It’s just nasty. Here hyung, try it.” He shovels a big portion into his spoon and signals his older brother to come closer.

Taeyong takes a hesitant pause, but agrees to taste some of the food he brought his little brother. Jisung giggles when he sees Taeyong’s face contorts into a bitter expression. His older brother grasps for the water next to the tray and downs it as he swallows.

He takes a pause, “Why is it bitter?”

Jisung shrugs and pushes the revolting food away from both of them. Judging by Taeyong’s visible distaste, he won’t be eating hospital food next time and Jisung cheers in his mind. Silence passes while Taeyong scrolls through his phone in search of a cheap alternative for food.

The other boy is deep in thought and remembers a question he had earlier for his older brother, “Ah. Hyung, do you hate Johnny?”

“Johnny-hyung.” He corrects, “No. Why would I hate your doctor?”

“You didn’t look okay when he came in earlier.”

Taeyong mumbles something inaudible to Jisung’s ears. He speaks up louder when he realises that Jisung didn’t hear him the first time, “It’s not because of Johnny.”

“Then why?” The boy knows that he shouldn’t push the boundaries, but Taeyong wouldn’t keep something important from him.

His older brother speaks in a quiet voice, like he’s afraid of scaring the younger boy. “You wouldn’t understand Jisung. You’re too young. So wait a bit.”

“I’ve been waiting for so long! I want to know if I’m going to be okay. I want to know if I can go outside tomorrow. Stop hiding things from me hyung, we both know I’m going to die.” Jisung half yells at his brother, but the frustration is gone when he sees tears form in Taeyong’s eyes.

“I know.” Taeyong says in a soft voice.

“I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to yell. I just…” He doesn’t know why he yelled, he doesn’t know why he’s angry, and Jisung doesn't know why there's a voice telling him that he should just _die._

Taeyong pats his hand and manages to give him a light smile, “It’s okay Jisung. I’ll leave you alone.”

The younger boy watches as his only family leaves the hospital room. And guilt consumes his body while the repeating thoughts convinces him that he drove everybody away. In the empty hospital room, he breaks down again. Just like he did in the start. Jisung doesn’t know that Taeyong is standing outside the door, forcing himself to listen to his little brother sob alone.

Jisung’s wish doesn’t come true. He is still lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've made it worse.


End file.
